R U a Buyer, Part 1

What is your answer to each of the following questions?

• Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues?
• Do you spend more than you can afford?
• Are some of your purchases unused or hidden?
• Do you feel guilty or ashamed about this behavior?
• Would your life be richer is you were shopping less?

Did you answer the questions honestly and without pointing your finger in blame to someone else?

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. of Stopping Overshopping, LLC shared the questions above as an opening to topic of Compulsive Buying, a class I took recently. Benson shared that compulsive buying is an equal opportunity problem. Women and men engage in the behavior equally, but women are more likely to seek help. From an article entitled Help for shopaholics: New test determines who's at risk for compulsive buying, I discovered that "the researchers found that compulsive buying was linked to materialism, reduced self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and stress. Compulsive shoppers had positive feelings associated with buying, and they also tended to hide purchases, return items, have more family arguments, and possessed more maxed-out credit cards." To me, this research indicates the strong link of emotional ties to a person's stuff. Whether a person is a compulsive buyer, hoarder, collector, packrat, etc. at some point, they feel that they benefit from the stuff.

Once the problem has been identified, what about intervention? Below are Benson's tips if you have a loved one who is a compulsive buyer:

• Remember that you can't really do anything unless your loved one is ready to change. For information to help identify where the person might be on the path to change see Readiness of Change a free Fact Sheet from the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization (NSGCD).
• Back off if your loved one becomes defensive or reacts strongly to something you say. For additional communication tips, see Tips for Communicating with the Chronically Disorganized, a free Fact Sheet from the NSGCD.
• Understand that compulsive overbuying is a multi-faceted challenge which may require intervention with experts in the fields of therapy, organizing, and other related disciplines.

If you or someone you know is a compulsive buyer who wants to change, hopefully you have gained a couple of ideas from this post The next blog entry will have suggested strategies to stop overshopping if you are the person "in question".