Getting and staying organized is characterized by boundaries. If you want to live in a NOW (newly organized way), learning how to set boundaries is a crucial step. Here are some examples:
- You have two tall bookshelves overflowing with books plus additional books on the floor in various rooms. These books have entered your space as purchases, gifts, and "passed down". Many of them have never been read and you even have multiple copies of some because you didn't remember that you already had a copy! You decide that your "book boundary" is the two bookshelves which means that books have to fit on the shelves or they need to be deleted from the space. You can delete by selling, donating, recycling, or discarding. Going forward, if a new book wants to enter the space, you must delete a current book. By keeping the boundary, you won't feel guilty about the number of books you have to read and you will create more functional living space.
- Your schedule is overflowing. You have more tasks to complete than hours in the day. Yet people always come asking for your help because you "know how to get the job done and you do it right". You are suffering from lack of sleep and too little "me time" not to mention no time with family and friends. Your boundary might be to not take on any more tasks until some of the current ones are off your plate. This could mean coming up with a response for anytime someone asks for your time. It could be something like this: "I am unavailable to do <the task> as I don't have time in my schedule right now." You have to come up with whatever phrasing feels right to you. Then you practice it until it rolls off of your tongue without thinking anytime someone starts a question with "Would you be able to..." They may resort to begging or manipulation. Stay wrong and repeat your phrase another time or two and then just walk away. I know it sounds mean, but this is your time we are talking about. It is precious! By setting up task boundaries, you will decrease stress and create a more reasonable schedule.
These are only two examples of how you might set boundaries to bring less overwhelm to your life. Melody Beattie in her book The Language of Letting Go says this about boundaries:
Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs.... As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries....We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before....There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say: others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed.
Yes, setting boundaries will feel awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning. Like any new skill, it is something that must be practiced. But being uncomfortable in the short-term to feel less overwhelmed in the long run sounds good to me. How about you?
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