organize your time by knowing which no?

I saw a cartoon by Ted Goff that said "When you say no, do you mean partially no, possibly no, or approximately no?" I had to laugh. We often help clients with time organizing challenges. One major culprit is having more activties or tasks than hours in a day. A major problem? The inability to say "no." It's a short word but incredibly difficult to use on a regular basis.

Let's look at a scenario.

Someone comes to you and says, "I know that you are really good at organizing events. We have this event and would really like you to be in charge." In this scenario, let's assume that we are talking about a volunteer activity for work or some group in which you are a member. Let's also presume that you neither have the time nor the desire. However, you immediately feel the tug of "the need" and you really enjoyed the compliment about your event organizing ability. Here are some possible responses:

1. "Well, I really don't have the time but it sounds like you really need someone, so sure."
2. "I don't have time, but if you can find someone to co-chair, I guess I can do it."
3. "I know I don't have the time to chair the event, but I'll be glad to help out in other ways."
4. "Wellll. I really can't." (sigh)
5. "I appreciate that you think I can take on the challenge of organizing this event and I know it's for a good cause. Unfortunately, all of my time is spoken for at this time so I'll have to turn down the opportunity. I wish you success in finding someone for this position."

Remember, I originally stated that you neither have the time nor the desire. Yet in statements #1-3 you end up with at least some responsibiilty. In statement #4 you're a bit wishy-washy so the person probably ends up persuading you to do at least one task for the event. Only #5 acknowledges that while you appreciate the confidence and the intention, you are unable to help in any way.

Some of you are saying, "I would never think to say #5 when someone asked me to do something." That's fine. Instead, create and practice a generic definite no statement: "I'm sorry, but my calendar is full right now and I'm unable to add any more activities" OR "While I appreciate you thinking of me, I'm not able to add any new tasks to my schedule." Create a short sentence that feels comfortable to you. Then practice it in front of a mirror, with a pet, in the car, with a friend, etc. Until it rolls off the tip of your tongue the minute someone say, "Can you...?"

If you need help organizing your time, check out the information about our organizer coaching services. Just a few changes may radically increase your command over your calendar.