What's Really Under the Clutter?

If you've got clutter, then you probably have piles on top of... what is under that clutter? Probably some type of surface like a floor, table, sofa or some other piece of furniture. You may or may not have seen the surface in awhile depending on how long the pile has been there. Guess what? There is probably something else under that pile. No, I'm not talking about anything like dust or bugs, I'm talking about feelings. Here are two of the common ones:

1. Sadness: stuff often accumulates because an event occurred and we can't bear to part with items related to that event. It might be the death of a loved one. It might be weight gain (yearning for our skinnier self). It might be a life transition such as getting divorced or losing a job. The reason for the sadness doesn't matter. But the result is often the same: the sadness decreases our energy to take action and it makes it difficult to delete items. We feel that if we delete the items, then we're giving up the way things were. Alternative thinking: Keeping a few of the items maintains the memory. Deleting the remainder of the items will make way for new experiences.
2. Security: surrounded by our stuff, we feel safe. Life may be uncertain or chaotic around us, but our stuff makes us feel safe. It is OUR STUFF. We can do or not do what we want with it. So even if demands are being made in every other part of our life, we still have the security that we feel when we are with OUR STUFF. Interestingly, this "safe feeling" happens even if we aren't sure exactly what stuff we have! It is ours and that's all that matters. Alternative thinking: The amount of stuff we own doesn't impact the amount of change and uncertainty in life. However, too much stuff can make it more difficult to be proactive during times of change and uncertainty. Less stuff makes it easier to "be light on our feet" as we navigate the course of our life.

So if you'd like to delete (which includes donate, sell, recycle, toss) items from your space, you may need to consider what is really under the clutter. The only way to make lasting change is to substitute alternative thinking for your misplaced feelings. Sometimes it is helpful to have an organizer coach to help with this journey. Sometimes support from a therapist or counselor may be recommended. Regardless of the method, dealing with mental clutter is critical to handling physical or time-related clutter.